Forgetfulness

 I forgot how simple you were, how you didn't require much. But that was only because I knew how much you deserved. I wanted you to have everything, I wanted to be the one giving it to you.

But I forgot how to love you.

I forgot that you liked when I slept on your back. I forgot how much you liked corny jokes. 

I forgot to kiss you more, to love you more, to touch you.

I forgot you were sensitive, more sensitive than you'd ever admit to anyone else but you felt safe enough to tell me. 

I forgot to make you smile. I forgot to hold your hand on your roughest days. I forgot to cook for you more. I forgot to listen.

I forgot to pour into you, not just sexually because I forgot that too but more emotionally, more intellectually. I forgot to think of you first. 

I forgot how much you cared about me. I forgot you'd do anything for me, even run to the moon and back. I forgot you loved me. I forgot.

I forgot how much you meant to me, how just seeing your name made me smile like an idiot.

I forgot to watch movies with you. I forgot to be patient. I forgot to stop being petty.

I forgot to stop running. I forgot you were all mines and I was yours.

I forgot I was the moon and the sun for you. I forgot you were how I got up in the morning most days.

I forgot how you held me in my moments of need. I forgot to forgive you when I wouldn't let you be.

I forgot to show you every part of me. I forgot you wouldn't judge me. I forgot you understood me.

I forgot to listen. 

I forgot to be the big spoon. I forgot that little things don't matter.

I forgot to block out the background noise. I forgot that you are who you are and that I was lucky to have you. 

I forgot to cry. I forgot that you cried. I forgot our connection and our bond. 

I forgot that one really bad day shouldn't take away all the good days. 

I forgot how to make you laugh. 

I forgot to buy you tea even though I know all your favorites.

I forgot you weren't the enemy most of the time, I just didn't know how to process my thoughts to remember that.

I forgot to love you. 

I forgot that you were easy to love.

I forgot how excited you get talking about your career. 

I forgot how to listen when you talked about your car.

I forgot to watch that movie I didn't really want to watch but you did so it shouldn't have mattered.

I forgot g.

I forgot how you slept on the floor with me. I forgot how you knew my thoughts before I spoke a word, if I spoke.

I forgot to paint with you. I forgot to put down my phone and enjoy you.

I forgot to let you bite me. 

I forgot your insecurities instead of loving them away.

I forgot not to be jealous. 

I forgot how much you loved wearing black but you hated white shoes.

I forgot overexposure on the internet.

I forgot how you didn't even really laugh until our second year together but somehow I made you laugh.

I forgot how you liked big cat videos.

I forgot to share Tony Baker videos with you.

I forgot how you spoke computer to me, fully knowing I didn't understand but I heard the passion so it didn't matter that it was foreign language.

I forgot how much you liked juice. I bought some for the first time in months and it was two flavors you always mixed.

I forgot to get you strawberries more often. The organic kind are in my fridge but you aren't here to eat them.

I forgot how you slept with your hands crossed some days. 

I forgot to make you sandwiches, you know the gourmet kind.

I forgot to keep bothering you in your sleep because I could never sleep as long as you and I missed you when I was up.

I forgot to kiss you in your sleep. 

I forgot to check on you when you were sick.

I forgot to ask you about your day. 

I forgot to be your friend because sometimes you needed that more than a girlfriend.

I forgot to be logical.

I forgot that you aren't a toy even though I never really thought you were but I did treat you like one.

I forgot to speak up. I forgot how we had plans, big plans. 

I forgot not to get drunk and call you. I forgot that you hated when that seemed to be the only time I could express myself.

I forgot to be the moon. I forgot to be the sun.

I forgot that love truly is patience and forgiveness.

I forgot to forget my pride. 

I forgot you were worth it and they never were. 

I forgot to stop hurting you. Idk why I did that.

I forgot how to love you.

But I won't forget again.